My first tag...

Both Tian and Devry have tagged me. Oh, and it's Lester's fault too since she started the funny business. Actually I am overjoyed at writing this because it's a list and anyone who knows me will attest that I am INSANELY into lists.

i am - not the best at attending baby and bridal showers.

i think - pro sports is overrated.

i know - how to make people feel at ease.

i want - to swab my ears out everyday even though it will make me deaf.

i have - a delusion about how tall I am.

i wish - for three more wishes. Duh.

i hate - the seemingly permanent kink in my neck.

i miss - La Dolcezza, the fall, getting excited about Christmas.

i fear - being single forever...and....partially eaten by wild dogs.

i feel - anxious about my financial future.

i hear - my mom's voice inside my head.

i smell - the gluey copy machine smell of my office.

i search - for a way to eat what I want sans consequences.

i wonder - why people don't rollerskate anymore.

i regret - spending so much time switching my major in college.

i love - going to the movies in the middle of the day, reading, a clean bathroom.

i care - about women's rights in the middle east.

i always - check my email, lock the door, make my bed.

i am not - assertive or good at math.

i believe - that most people are good.

i dance - in the car.

i sing - everytime it's an Indigo Girls song.

i don't always - say morning prayers.

i write - and then refuse to re-write.

i win - if we're playing Dr. Mario.

i lose - too much hair in the shower, it's already getting thin!

i never - feel confident enough.

i listen - too seldom.

i can usually be found - at Toad's.

i'm scared - of SCORPIONS!

i read - novels and more novels and the occasional newspaper.

i'm happy about - my new shoes that cost me 20 bucks.

Now I'm supposed to tag more people (LD you're it!) but the people that I really want to tag claim that they aren't bloggers. Hmph. Instead I command Isabellarchery and Craig to answer three of the questions in a 'Comment'.

Hair-bobs

Pamchenko has her own vernacular. It is ingrained in me. For a long time I thought that everybody's mom called hair adornments 'hair-bobs'. Recently Super bought the girls some new 'hairbobs'. They were too fanciful even for my 28 year old self to resist.


There were new earrings to compliment the hair-bobs as well. Roo reported that she chose her earrings because they looked like blobs of frosting. Indeed, why not sweeten one's lobes with something sugary looking. Boo's earrings are pink tulips.

Pie Heaven

“When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if not…mmmmm, boy!”
Jack Handey

The other day I commented to a friend that I have been trying to break into the pie scene for awhile now. My efforts haven't been entirely in vain and definitely haven't gone unnoticed. Big Daddy has very calmly fielded emails RE: PIE QUESTIONS that begged immediate responses - even though he's very busy and important. And as a Christmas gift LD bought me a membership to the very exclusive Pie of the Month Club. One of the perks of membership is that I receive a monthly post card that has original pie art on one side and a recipe on the other side. At the risk of seeming ungrateful, most of the recipes are too complicated for the likes of me. They call for double boilers and custards and multiple steps and such. But July brought a recipe for Strawberry 7Up pie that I could not resist. The crust and the filling called for generous doses of 7Up and Food that has soda in it gets me all excited!

In the end the pie was a little disappointing. I guess I was expecting more fizziness?

Summer Plans

Summer is a magical time. My memories of childhood summers are so drenched in good nostalgia I can hardly stand it. Unfortunately, I find that as an adult my summer passes in an air conditioned office, in the same way as the rest of the seasons. Come September I will panic, grasp at last moment summery activities, and try to jam as many cobs of corn as I can in my mouth. Today I vow not to let the summer pass me by without a more concerted effort to enjoy it. Here is Heiderhead's List of ways to put more summer in her summer.
1. Take my shoes off and walk around on the hot cement.
2. Eat more produce. Especially watermelon.
3. Spontaneous swimming activities. Despite popular opinion I can be quite spontaneous.
4. Get my neighbors, all retired folks, to play night games with me.
5. Buy Slurpees. Free Slurpee day is this Friday! Ha! Beat you to it LD.
6. Go to a rocking summer concert.

Tidbits and Jealousy

Tidbits:
Today I noted that my chewed up wad of Extra Spearmint gum was the exact shade of greeen as the post-it note I stuck it to before throwing it out.

Here are some very useful items that Tian brought back from Taiwan. She categorized them as Taiwanese Junk Greatness but I beg to differ. They don't slip nearly as much as their American counterparts and with hearts and polka dots are much more friendly looking.




I recently returned from Pamchenko's family reunion. Yes, I belong to that family too but it was her side. It was very enjoyable depsite the stomach ache that occured as a result of eating too many BYU mint brownies. I'm really glad I decided to go as everyone showed up and I wouldn't want to be known as the 'ungrateful' grandchild. Plus I got to celebrate Tian's birthday and bask in the general silliness of my siblings.
















Jealousy:
Tian has a blog. It's way better than mine. You can get there by clicking on her name in my blogger list.

My Brand of Crazy

The lovely and dark Ms. N came to visit me over the weekend. We had a great time talking. Originally her visit was going to be a camp out (I haven't been camping in Texas yet) but I had a mysterious ankle pain that would have made a trip into the wild unpleasant. As an alternative activity I tentatively suggested the Indian cinema in Irving. Been dying to get out there for some Bollywood but could never find somebody crazy enough to go with me. N. is great at being accomodating and so she and I sat in a darkened Bollywood movie theater watching song and dance in Hindi for four hours. Here is a pic of me and my Indian movie star boyfriend Shahrukh Khan.



Also on Heider's list of must-see Dallas attractions was Central Market.
We bought italian soda in Blood Orange and Pomegranate, challah, french cheese, and Truffle Pig chocolate truffles. Thankfully, N. was appropriately impressed.
We packed our delectable finds and went for a N.'s birthday picnic at White Rock Lake. There would have been birthday cupcakes from Sprinkles but we ate them all the day before.


Sushi works just as well.

"You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve." - Jane Austen

My beloved sister has returned from her LDS mission in Taiwan. I am overjoyed at the prospect of her visiting me in Dallas next week. As a good sister ought, I wrote to her faithfully and so we should need very little time re-acquainting ourselves. As an homage to her visit and a recap of hilarious tidbits, I plan to include a list of the best sentences she penned during her time in Asia.

Quotes from Holly's letters to her sister Heiderhead -

"Shih asked me to be her boyfriend today because things just aren't working out with the District Leader; I wonder why."

"This is my conclusion, or perhaps thesis: it is because of the pure love of Christ that we have faith, diligence, passion (that is a Holly-Christlike Attribute, not in preach my gospel), courage, obedience, etc."

[In response to her companion's reaction to the arrival of a very long letter from a rougish boy friend]"Anyway, I'm sure it gives him great delight to cause drama 7000 miles away."

"President Hsu for some reason unknown to me has Church-approved kareoke cds. How cool is that? I want that to be my next calling in the church."

"My companion is teaching me Mo li hua, a famous Chinese folk song. I have great urges to dance to it."

"How is Eve doing on her dieting? She never writes me back. Does she still have mold growing in her sinuses. Sometimes I think I have a brain tumor."

"Every girl needs an older brother to buy saucy shoes for them. It is so much better than a boyfriend because you won't break up and then have this memory of them haunting your shoes."

"For everything there is a season and a time under the heaven... and a time to dance..." Sometimes there is time to not be amazing. That is most of the time, so that when we are amazing we can realize it."

Absolution

I don't even know if absolution is a word. But that's beside the point. This post is, of course, about how I've been a slacker blogger and must be absolved of any guilt that I felt over going three months between posts (minimal) and how much I like hip hop (alot).
So, yes, haven't been blogging. But I have other things to feel guilty about. Serious things. Actually, I feel the need to air my dirt laundry here in this public forum.

Current Sins for which Heiderhead needs to be Absolved:
1. Forgetting my favorite bro-in-law's birthday. He's modest and didn't mention it. AND graciously answered my week late birthday felicitations(another made up word?)phone call.
2. Eating far too many cashews.
3. Secretly thinking I am a much better driver than most of Texas.
4. Avoiding recent social gatherings that would be optimal for networking necessary for facilitation of dating and friendships.
5. Imagining how great it would feel to VIOLENTLY put my Micheal Scott-esque supervisor in his place.
6. Being lustful.
7. Buying more shoes.
8. Preoccupying myself with shallow endeavors like watching the Bachelor on the internet and listening to hip hop.

Hip hop! I am addicted to hip hop. I don't know why. Perhaps becacuse I grew up in Utah, clearly not the most diverse of environs. I never consistently listened to it before moving and so now I am making up for the absence. Whatever. It makes sense that I would like it. It's dancy music and I am a dancy person. Just the way I roll.

THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY

See this movie. It's based on the memoirs of Jean-Dominique Bauby, a french journalist and former editor of french Elle who suffers a debilitating stroke but goes on to write about his experience by learning to communicate with only his left eye. For a proper review you can go here.
The cinematography, the story, and the acting were all wondrous. But be prepared to crave a croissant after. Oh and why do foreign films have all the genuine looking actors and we have to put up with Julia Roberts in film after film?

List of my Current Obsessions

1. Checking craigslist for apartments that I've no intention of renting.
2. Checking craigslist for shabby chic furniture.
3. Craigslist.
4. Making sure all the blinds in my room are either angled up or angled down.
5. Keeping my nails filed.
6. Puffs tissues.
7. Stretching after each workout.
8. 'Superstar' by Lupe Fiasco.
9. Green beans - delicious.
10. Looking for plane tix to places I can't afford to go.

Too bad I can't be obsessed with 'scripture study' or 'putting money in savings'. So that's that. In other news Pamchenko confessed she had no idea what my blog was called - and could I email her the name of it? Which proves that my mother doesn't read my blog, so get ready for some scandalous posts about my fabulous Dallas nightlife......and some sweary-ness.........and...........a tattoo perhaps?

Y-M-C-Heeeeeey Baby!

I used to workout at Gold's Gym in Utah. The reason I chose Gold's becomes an increasing mystery to me. Before my mission they tried to scam me out of around 90 bucks and then finagled me into sitting on the phone for over three hours to sort it out. Because I'm a sucker I turned around and bought another membership after my mission. I was seduced by all of their classes that fit into my kickboxing fantasies.
Now I work out at the YMCA. There is no YMCA in Utah. Why is that? It seems that the mormon community would embrace the tenets of the YMCA. Christian brotherhood, family fitness etc., and we pray and "thank the Good Lord for our bodies" after every class.
It has been quite the adjustment going from classes where the conversations were about "like, how many calories have you burned in this class before?" to "girl, I be workin' hard in this class, got Satan all up on my back."
Figure 1

Figure 2

Pretty Poison

For reasons unbeknownst to me I cannae find this song on itunes. So it must suffice to post the video. I heard it on the freeway the other day and I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF. Had to do a little car dancy.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...unless you make it Ugly

The ability to make an ugly face is important to me. This makes me somewhat of a critic when taking pictures. Of course, I can smile normally but that's not entertaining. So after the first picture has been taken and it's time for the 'make a face' picture, I really shine. Not only have I a mastered my facial muscles to the point that I have names for my different funny faces ( Dry Heave, Goblin Child, Botox, etc..) but I really respect other people who aren't afraid to be hideous.
That said, this is what I really wanted to write about - The end of my career at WIA. *sniffle* The above picture portrays the best 'funny face' my beloved coworkers could produce. Some are awesome (which raises my esteem for said person) others are, well, lacking. However! That does not mean that each person that I have shared the last two years with at WIA has not impacted me.
In fact, I would like to address each one in this public forum.
Paris,
You will always be taller than me, and perhaps you don't have to work so hard at destructive behaviors to get the public attention but you've always been a proper frenemy. Thanks for all the diet coke, celery sticks and dove to counteract the celery sticks. Oh, and the awesome time on your boat...I mean yacht.

Dear Samoan Princess,
You are the best world's best boss, and I mean that in a non Michael Scott kind of way. I'll miss trying to take you down in the hallway and your wealth of random fitness tidbits. Picture me on a treadmill somewhere in Texas, pounding out one last mile because the monitor hasn't reached all even numbers yet.

Dear Prego,
Thanks for setting me up when I was too lazy to socialize but too lonely to refrain from complaining about it. You know I'll help you paint your house, watch your kids, take a kickboxing class with you ANYTIME. May we continue as Buddha's Feast sisters many long years.

Dear Commuter,
Anytime 'I earned it' I will fondly think of you. As well as anytime I order a fancy drink. You are one of the most thoughtful and sincere people I know. Thanks for always letting me mooch flavor and stain stick from you. I'll keep you posted on any triathalons that we could meet in the middle at.

Dear Karl Marx,
Why doesn't anybody listen to you? At least I do. It's a good thing too because otherwise I wouldn't have a clue about tracking one's temp, grad school, Uworks, and good hair. Also, I passed statistics with the help of your husband. You guys should apply in Texas...just sayin.

Dear Token Male,
Really I can sum up what I have to say to you in one word - sorry. For all of the mistakes I made in Case Managing that you surely don't know about yet. May you continue to provide balance. Oh, and watch out for posting non-authorized flyers in the building. Seems that doesn't go over too well.

Dear Miko,
I apologize to you as well. For all the mistakes I made that you will have to fix. Whatever, I know you won't judge me, and if you do I'll think smugly about you walking around in sweat shop clothes. I hope you love the job. Keep spinning.

And so I lovingly dedicate this post to the staff at WIA. They are saving the world one GED at a time.

Updates...

WASATCH BACK RELAY
The official team name has been decided: Run More, Eat More. It's more of a mantra I'd say. But I voted for it too so I'm not complaining. La Dolcezza did suggest we name the team Bringin' Wasatch Back, which made me laugh. Clever, clever girl. The registration has been paid in a lump sum and so if you want to secure your place you need to get your money to Pamchenko (Team CAPTAIN!) as soon as possible. For those of you who have not researched the website as previously suggested, you will want to know that if you want to pay and then have to drop out at a later date substitutions are allowed until April.

***

MOVING TO DALLAS
Yes I will be moving to the Lone Star state at the beginning of October. I can't tell you the excitement I feel when I picture myself packing all my worldly belongings into my Civic and heading out...which reminds me, I am in need of some sweet new road trip tunes. Suggestions? Oh, and I copied this from Bexy's blog. HILARIOUS!



***

GRE VOCAB WORD OF THE DAY
Mendacious - adj. Lying; habitually dishonest.

Want to Know Where to PARTY?

The above heading I copied from the Wasatch Back cross country relay website. For those of you who have not been recruited by Pamchenko or myself - The Wasatch Back is a 176 mile run on backroads from Logan to Park City. Naturally, the feat is accomplished in teams.
And we, my friends, are compiling our team of Running Lunatics.




Like any successful team we need to unify ourselves by choosing a stellar team name. Various emails have been circulating several good suggestions. Unlike other races, you register as a team instead of individually and you cannot register without a team name. If you are planning on running you need to email Pamchenko your vote by this Sunday ( if you need that address leave me a comment) and then she will register the team once the votes are collected. Check out the website. There is extensive information on how much each person runs, elevations, training schedules etc. This race is gonna be crazy! If you aren't sure you can commit (the race isn't until next June) we would still love your input. If you don't vote you can't complain when we decide to call ourselves Team Super Fudge Chunk.

There have been some rumors of appointing a team captian. Indeed, I received a ridiculously long voice mail from Sue expressing concerns over whether she was cut out for the job. Of course Sue would be an ideal captain and I think she should shoulder this resposibility as well as start wearing a viking helmet with horns and braids BUT i don't want her to feel pressure. Besides, Toad insists that they will be in Hawaii during June. Funsucker.

Therefore, I suggest we appoint Pamchenko as team captain - she's a running veteran, benevolent dictator, and most importantly she's committed to bagging this race.

Get Thee to a Bunnery

Today is Bunny's birthday. Besides declaring that she is one of my top people, I should like to share some of my top moments of Bunny history.

- During one of our trips into the Uintas a nasty storm hit us. The first day soaked us to the bone, making the set up of camp a miserable affair. We rushed about trying to get our tent up and find dry places to stash our packs, all the while shivering and snapping at each other in our sopping clothes and gear. Finally, as we climbed into our freezing but dry sleeping bags, Bunny insisted that I reach down and unzip her pants for her as her hands were too frozen for such fine motor movement. I declined at first. But I soon realized that her capacity for piss and vinegar was yet untapped and so I tried to be obliging.

-All the nights she helped me with stats homework and all the Math Curse! phone calls she calmy fielded.

- The first time, while sitting at the kitchen table, she gave me her impromptu rendition of Silverstein's Deadly Eye. Her eyes were as big as saucers, veins popping, and her cheeks were flushed. This talent for oddity has since been immortalized and can make me laugh any place, at any time.

-When she finally gave up speaking proper English and started calling Bangerter, Bangety

-When she ran her first half marathon. I was at the finish waiting to cheer for her and when she came through triumphant and strong I knew I had to do the same. She was inspirational.

-All the times when we were little and she would lay in her bed at night and beg me to come running down the hall and jump on her.

-After her wedding reception she and I stood in our parent's bedroom and talked about how to handle honeymoon anxiety while I helped her unlace the world's tightest corset.

-During See How They Run she would come on stage and say, "Oim Oida!" and everyone backstage would collapse with laughter. Comic genius.

-When I get to see her bossing her class around. "WHY IS THERE ALL THIS TALKING?"

-When, baited to the breaking point, she told Toad to go to hell.

-On a road trip to Denver when I was depressed and broken hearted yet she never gave up on me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love.

Flight Of The Conchords - Jenny

"Trust me. I'm a Doctor" aaaaaand FINISHED HALF MARATHON!!

Paranoia is a pretty prevalent symptom amongst not only mental disorders but normal mental fluctuation as well. That said, it makes it easier for me to accept my paranoid ways with less gravitas. Most of the time my subconscious is nursing a little bit of paranoia over what I am consciously sure of as temporary mysterious bodily glitches. I often suspect the presence of stress fractures, swollen glands, west nile and dehydration without consulting a professional (Wikepedia excepting).


HOWEVER, I have secretly thought I had a melanoma buried deep in the delicate tissues of my bottom lip for at least twelve months now. In fact, I can remember quite accurately a day last November when I spent and entire aerobics class alternately bouncing around and wondering how anyone would ever love me once my lip had been removed. This cancer paranoia has persisted all summer egged on by an infrequent throbbing from that general area of my lip. But enough is enough. Yesterday I went to the dermatologist. I sought enlightenment and healing. Or at least validation.


Silly girl.


I got a quick cold-finger probing of my bottom lip followed by a rapid explanation about how dead cells sometimes never heal and then, before I could even ask what that miniature fire extinguisher thingy was used for, a blast of liquid nitrogen on the offending spot. I was told to call in a month if the problem persisted.

Now, a day later, my lip is doubled in size and throbbing like a drum.

***

I may have a fat lip but I finished the half marathon! GO ME! No more training hanging over my head. Thanks are in order. First, to Big Daddy and Lester for coming all the way from Denver to support me and run the race with me. Second to Pamchencko for riding all those miles on her bike and for all the Gatorade and steaks. And lastly 50 Cent, Stereophonics, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Beastie Boys for their musical genius.

Alaska Trip Highlights

Fresh from the airplane we went whale watching.

The sight of the whales was so moving that I had to pontificate to the rest of my tour mates about what a privilege it was to share the water with such mammoth yet benign creatures, at which point I was ridiculed.

We also took a tour of a botanical garden that was planted after a landslide. The hippie-landscape-architect owner decided to leave the upturned trees and use them for planters. The entire tour I kept wishing Big Daddy was with me to marvel at all of the botanical wonders. One of them being lichen which are so rare because they can only grow in very clean environments. Who knew?

I arrived in Juneau during that very special and aromatic time that the salmon spawned. Salmon at this point have stopped eating in order to put all of their energy into preserving the eggs they carry and getting back to the very same spot they were born. They some times get trapped in inlets when the tide goes out. At which point you can catch them with your bare hands.

This is highly illegal. He promptly returned this bloke to it's watery home so it could go on it merry decomposing-from-the-inside-out way.

My favorite part of the trip was a hike we took around Mendenhall Lake

Here:

Up and under the Mendenhall (eat your heart out Dev!) Glacier

Here:

To some blue caves

We also got a great shot of Juneau and the Gastineau Channel from the top of Mt. Roberts.

In closing I would like to thank Pod and Pamchenko for their generosity, myself for finally graduating from college in order to make this trip happen, and the Silverbow Bakery for making such delectable Rhubarb Squares. But mostly I want to thank Babs and the entire ACT Company for being so gracious, friendly and entertaining (ie dramatic) during my stay.

OH and last but not least...

I did see a few bears. This one hung out in a tree and stuck his tongue out at the tourists. I named him George W.

Later Skaters

Tomorrow night is my last night working at KOTM. Mixed feelings. It has been the best second job I've ever had. Maybe the only second job. For that reason- second jobs suck. You are already knackered from your first eight hours. Then you gotta care about someone/thing else for another four? That's tough for someone as self absorbed as me. I need ME time and this second job eats it all up. But as far as second jobs go this one has been the shizzle. I get to update m'blog, read celebrity gossip, stalk people on face book and finish homework. Sometimes.
Also, I get a good feeling knowing there are high caliber people out there who volunteer on a weekly basis. I sit here at reception and smile at their good deeds, all the while sampling books and music on ebay. Then lock up after they go. It's cush. So cush that two of my coworkers from my day job are duking it out over who gets to inherit my position when I've gone. I should maybe barter with them for the job. Or something. Like that scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon ( mmmmm, Jimmy Fallon) makes his mates dance for ball game ticks.